Why Does My Leadership Role No Longer Feel Aligned With My Values?

The toll of leading out of alignment.

Early childhood leadership, compliance and purpose in action

During a recent free Purpose in Action webinar, one of the Directors shared something that I’ve heard echoed many times, sometimes out loud, but often more quietly.

She said, “This just doesn’t sit right with me.”

She wasn’t being reactive. She wasn’t pushing back against responsibility. She was trying to make sense of a feeling that had been sitting with her for a while.

As she spoke, others nodded. And what became clear very quickly was that this was a shared leadership experience.

Leadership discomfort isn’t about capability

What struck me in that conversation wasn’t the content of the policy she was talking about, it was how she described her experience of it. She spoke about feeling unsettled, pulled, a bit off-centre. At one point, she used the word dysregulated and then immediately questioned whether that was quite the right word.

That moment really stayed with me.

Because what she was describing wasn’t a lack of skill or confidence. It was the experience of being asked to lead in ways that didn’t align with her values, and her body was registering that before her head had caught up.

Early Childhood Leadership is relational work. Values-led work. Human work.

So, when something pulls us away from what we know matters (trust, care, dignity, relationships), it doesn’t just stay in our thinking. We feel it.

The wider context we’re leading inside

This conversation didn’t come out of nowhere. Directors and leadership teams are holding a lot right now. They're working in a space of increased compliance, ongoing workforce pressure and constant decision-making. New requirements often arrive without much space to integrate or make sense of them. Many of these changes are well-intentioned. They’re often responses to very real concerns.

And at the same time, I’m hearing leaders say, “I understand why this is being asked of us, but the way it’s landing doesn’t align with how I lead, or how I work with my team.”

That tension is real.

And it’s exhausting.

Why this kind of misalignment drains Leaders so deeply

When leaders talk about leadership fatigue in early childhood, it’s often framed as workload. But what I see and what came through so clearly in this webinar, is something else. It’s the toll of leading out of alignment.

When leading out of alignment with their values leaders might notice that they're:

• having conversations that don’t sit well

• making decisions that feel rushed or protective

• reacting rather than responding

• feeling further away from the leader they want to be

And often, they push that feeling aside, because it feels inconvenient or uncomfortable. But that discomfort isn’t random. It’s essential information.

Putting your purpose into action is all about orientation

In the webinar, we spoke about purpose as an anchor, something you come back to when things start to feel too hard, too fast, or too misaligned. Purpose can be used as an orienting framework you return to. You don't have to use it as a formalised, written down statement. Rather, it works as an anchor for your actions and a guide for your leadership decisions.

Purpose helps you ask different questions, like:

What value of mine is being touched here? What feels compromised right now? What matters most in how I lead this, even if I can’t change the requirement itself?

Purpose in action. An example of slow pedagogy leadership

This is where slow pedagogy leadership comes in. Not slowing the work but rather slowing your response just enough to lead with intention instead of urgency. Let me make this real with a practical example from the conversation:

A Director in the session spoke about being required to implement a new compliance process that felt surveillance-based. She understood the requirement. She wasn’t disputing it. But it didn’t align with how she works with people.

A fast response might be: “This is what we have to do now.”

A slower, purpose-led response sounds different. It starts internally: “This feels uncomfortable because trust really matters to me.”

Then it anchors back to purpose:“My role is to protect children and support educators, not to undermine their professionalism.”

When she brings the change to her team, she names that: “This is something we’re required to put in place. How we do that matters. Our values don’t disappear because of this.”

She invites conversation: “What’s coming up for you about this? What would help this feel workable and respectful?”

And she holds the boundary calmly, clearly, without losing herself in the process.

Nothing about the policy changes. Instead, the way leadership is experienced does.

Noticing what is aligned

There’s something else that felt important in that webinar conversation and I’m still thinking about whether we name it often enough. When leaders talk about what feels out of alignment, it’s very easy for the story to become everything that isn’t working. And yet, as we slowed the conversation down, it became clear that many values are still being lived every day.

Care is still present.

Commitment is still strong.

Relationships are still a priority in a variety of ways. 

Sometimes the work isn’t about fixing misalignment, it’s about remembering where alignment already exists, and letting that steady us. Being able to say, “This part doesn’t sit right and this part still deeply does,” creates a more grounded place to lead from. It stops the discomfort from becoming overwhelming, and it restores a sense of agency.

Leading with purpose and values in alignment isn't just about noticing where values are being challenged. It’s also about recognising where they are being honoured, often despite the pressure.

What I want Directors to hear

If your leadership role feels uncomfortable right now, I don’t see that as a problem to solve. I see it as a signal. A signal that your values are alive. That you care deeply and that you’re paying attention.

The work isn’t to ignore that discomfort or push through it. It’s to slow down enough to listen to it and to let purpose guide how you respond, even inside constraint. Because when leaders stay connected to what matters most, they don’t just survive this season.

They lead it with integrity.

A gentle reflection to sit with

Before your next big decision or difficult conversation, you might pause and ask:

What part of me is feeling unsettled right now and what value is it pointing me back towards my purpose?

That question alone can change how you lead.

Join me for one of my upcoming free webinars throughout the year by choosing an event that suits you and registering here, or if you've missed the live event, like my Purpose in Action webinar, you can watch the recording in my vlog.

If you'd like to join a community of leaders who support each other, and learn the tools you need to lead in alignment, we'd love to have you as part of our annual leadership programs: Conscious Leaders Mastermind, or the Dandelion Project.

I'd love to hear how you use purpose in your own leadership practice or how I can help you implement a plan to put your purpose into action. Book in a free discovery call to see how we can work together.

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