The Presence We Bring: The Unseen Force Shaping Leadership in Early Childhood
- Sarah Moore
- Jun 6
- 4 min read
In early childhood education, we often focus on what we do, planning, supporting our teams, guiding pedagogy, and engaging with families. These tasks are important, but they’re only part of the picture.
There’s something less visible, but just as powerful, that influences how we lead: our presence.
What Is Presence?
Presence is the energy, emotion, and intention we bring into a space. It’s how we show up, not just physically, but emotionally and relationally.
You might be in the room, saying the right things and doing what’s expected, but if your presence is rushed, tense, or distracted, others can feel it. Children feel it. Educators feel it. Families feel it.
Presence is what people sense before we speak. It’s how we create a feeling of safety and trust or, unintentionally, a sense of disconnection or uncertainty.
The Science of Presence
Judith E. Glaser, in her work on Conversational Intelligence®, explains that our brains are always scanning for cues of “trust or threat.” When our words and energy don’t match for example, when we say we’re “fine” but we’re not, people can sense the disconnect.
Our nervous systems are wired for connection. When we experience someone as calm, open, and present, our brains release oxytocin, the “connection chemical.” But when we sense tension or misalignment, even subtly, our brains release cortisol, which can trigger defensiveness or disengagement. In early childhood services, where strong relationships are the foundation of everything we do, this matters deeply.
When You’re “There” But Not Fully Present
Sometimes, we as leaders notice when a team member is doing all the right things, contributing to meetings, completing tasks, following processes, but something still feels out of step. Their presence may feel flat, closed, or emotionally distant. This can be hard to name. We don’t always have shared language in early childhood to talk about presence. That’s why it’s important to start building it.
Language You Can Use With Your Team
Here are some gentle ways to bring this topic into conversation:
“I’ve noticed everything’s getting done, but I’m wondering how you’re feeling in it all. How are you going at the moment?”
“Sometimes our energy and our actions don’t quite match, that happens to all of us. I wonder if we could talk about that?”
“When things are busy or challenging, how do you think others experience you in those moments?”
“Let’s reflect on how we’re showing up with each other, not just in what we do, but how we are.”
Reflective Questions for Leaders
As leaders, we also need space to pause and reflect. Here are some simple prompts you might explore on your own or in a leadership team discussion:
How do I tend to show up when I’m under pressure?
What are the small signs that I might be carrying stress?
How do I think my team experiences me on those days?
Am I genuinely present when I greet families, or am I mentally somewhere else?
What does “leadership presence” mean to me, and how can I nurture it?
Linking to the National Quality Framework (NQF)
The Leadership Capability Framework from Early Childhood Australia highlights the importance of leaders being self-aware, reflective, and relational. These aren’t just “nice to have” qualities, they’re directly linked to Quality Areas:
QA1: Presence influences the emotional climate for pedagogical decision-making
QA4: Presence impacts how teams collaborate and feel supported
QA7: Presence is core to relational leadership and building a strong, positive culture
Supporting Presence Through Regulation
In the Managing Your Emotions & Energy module of the Online Conscious Leadership Program, we explore practical ways leaders can strengthen their presence. This includes:
Building awareness of your stress signals
Using grounding and breathing practices
Learning how to regulate your nervous system so you can co-regulate with your team
Understanding the neuroscience behind trust and emotional safety.
This isn’t about perfection, it’s about awareness. When our internal state matches our words and values, people feel safe around us. And that’s when meaningful connection, learning, and collaboration thrive.
Final Thought
Our presence is a powerful leadership tool, even though it’s often the most overlooked. In early childhood, where relationships shape everything from educator wellbeing to children’s experiences, showing up with awareness, intention, and authenticity is one of the most impactful things we can do.
This blog post invites you to bring the topic of presence into your leadership conversations, giving it a language, whilst helping to make the invisible, visible.
Take the Next Step
If you're ready to deepen your leadership presence and learn how to self-regulate in real time, especially during moments of pressure or disconnection, I invite you to explore the Self-Regulation Practice which is a foundational tool we use within the Online Conscious Leadership Program. It’s a practical, neuroscience-informed tool designed to help you align your energy, reconnect with your values, and lead with calm, clarity, and authenticity, even when things feel challenging.
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