Confidence as a Practice: Closing the Confidence Gap For Early Education Leaders
- Sarah Moore
- Sep 15
- 6 min read
Confidence is one of the most common challenges leaders raise in my workshops. Many early childhood directors, educational leaders, and supervisors step into their roles without formal training, often feeling underprepared for the weight of responsibility they now carry. It is no surprise, then, that words like “I need to build more confidence” or “I don’t feel ready” appear so often in the reflection forms. Leadership that begins in this way can leave people comparing themselves to more experienced colleagues and questioning whether they are doing the role “right,” or even if they should be in the role at all.
Research shows us that confidence is rarely something leaders begin with. It is not a fixed trait, but a skill that is built through reflection and practice. Confidence grows when leaders are intentional about how they develop it, and when they are supported to see their progress over time. By treating confidence as a practice, rather than a destination, leaders can shift from doubt to steadiness and carry responsibility with greater clarity and care.
At a recent session, one participant wrote, “I’m working alongside colleagues who have more years of experience, so I’d say we learn and grow together.” This reflection captures the heart of what confidence in leadership really looks like. It is not about being the most experienced person in the room, but about showing up with presence, purpose, and a willingness to keep learning.
The Confidence Gap
The confidence gap describes the space between how leaders feel internally and how they are seen by others externally. Also called ‘imposter syndrome’ the confidence gap is felt as self-doubt, fear of exposure, sense of inadequacy, perfectionism, and uncertainty. Many early childhood leaders carry significant responsibility and are trusted by their teams, families, and services but inside, they may still question whether they are capable, even if they are in fact doing a perfectly adequate job.
This gap is particularly common when leaders step into roles suddenly, or when they are mentoring staff with more years of experience. The internal dialogue might sound like, “Who am I to guide someone else?” or “I don’t know enough to be in this role.” At my recent two-day intensive workshop for the Dandelion Project, the responses to one exercise about strengths and weaknesses were overwhelmingly about feelings of confidence and inadequacy.
Some of the phrases include:
“I need to build more confidence.”“I don’t feel ready.”
“I often look for clarification before I act.”
“I sometimes question whether I’m doing it right.”
“I sometimes avoid situations instead of addressing them.”
These thoughts can undermine decision making and contribute to imposter feelings. It’s been shown that women in leadership are significantly more likely to experience feeling imposter syndrome, and in an industry dominated by female leadership the chances are that you, or your colleagues have been struggling with a confidence gap, and probably in silent isolation.
Behaviours that develop as a way to compensate for this sense of inadequacy, or fear of being “found out,” can include all kinds of things from perfectionism, to aggression, to people-pleasing, to being adamant that you’re always right and steamrolling your team. This can lead to isolation, burnout, high staff turnover, and high stress levels as you try to compensate by over-working and that does nothing good for your body, brain or emotional state.
Recognising the confidence gap is not a sign of weakness, but a first step toward closing it. When leaders acknowledge what their internal confidence levels are, they create space to approach confidence as something that can be developed deliberately, just like any other professional skill.
Confidence as a Practice
Confidence is built through consistent practice, not through waiting until you feel ready. Every mentoring conversation, every staff meeting, every moment where a leader chooses to engage rather than avoid is part of that practice. By treating it as skill that needs work it becomes an achievable goal, just like any other skill you need for leadership.
When we think of something as a skill, rather than an inherent personality trait that we either do or do not have, it means we feel less shame and can address it clearly with ourselves and with our team. We can ask for help in developing it, we can work on it and set goals for ourselves and, most importantly, we can set specific tasks and activities that strengthen that skill so we get better at it. The act of noticing and naming your patterns and feelings that undermine confidence is itself practice. It is the first step toward choosing a different response next time.
Like any skill, confidence grows when leaders work on it deliberately and consciously. This might mean preparing for difficult conversations in advance, setting small goals for trying new approaches, or reflecting afterwards on what went well and what could be improved. Over time, these small, intentional actions compound into greater confidence.
One participant in a recent workshop wrote, “I often look for clarification before I act.” On the surface this might sound like doubt, but it is also an example of progress in practicing confidence. Seeking clarity before acting is a practice that builds confidence over time, because it demonstrates reflection and intentionality.
Practicing confidence creates a positive feedback loop where initial attempts, even small ones, build momentum and a greater belief in one's abilities, leading to increased competence and confidence over time.
The Role of Small Wins
Confidence does not arrive in a single breakthrough moment. It develops through small wins that build self-trust. These are the moments that often go unnoticed in the busyness of the day. Moments like guiding a trainee who later thanks you for your encouragement, making a difficult decision that turns out to be the right one, or offering feedback that shifts how an educator engages with children - these are the moments we need to celebrate, even if it’s just with ourselves.
Research in adult learning shows that recognising progress reinforces growth, strengthens motivation, and rewires the brain to notice success more readily. Without recognition, leaders risk overlooking the evidence that they are already building confidence.
Celebrating small wins matters because:
It provides evidence that confidence is already growing.
It reinforces positive patterns and progress
It builds steadiness in moments of doubt.
It links growth back to purpose and values.
It shifts focus from self-doubt to self-awareness and growth.
This is where conscious leadership comes in. Celebration is not just about patting yourself on the back, it is about deliberately pausing to notice progress, to name it, and to value it. Sometimes that recognition comes with the support of a mentor or coach, which can feel incredibly powerful. But it also begins with you. Being your own advocate, noticing your own growth, and celebrating your own wins is the practice that closes the confidence gap and builds steadiness for the long term.
Celebration is not about ignoring challenges, it is about balancing the narrative. When leaders only focus on what feels uncertain, they reinforce self-doubt. When they pause to notice and celebrate what is working, they begin to build self-trust.
By celebrating small wins, leaders create a feedback loop that strengthens confidence as a practice. Over time, these moments accumulate into the kind of confidence that feels steady, grounded, and authentic.
Anchoring Confidence in Conscious Leadership
Confidence is not about always feeling sure of yourself. It is about showing up, reflecting, and practising, even when doubt is present. Purpose gives confidence its direction, and conscious leadership gives it its practice. Together, they allow leaders to hold responsibility with steadiness rather than fear.
The most confident leaders are not the ones who never question themselves, but the ones who use those questions as a cue to reflect, adjust, and grow. They close the confidence gap not by eliminating self-doubt, but by choosing to act with awareness and intention anyway.
If you are ready to explore this more deeply, there are several ways to begin. The Online Conscious Leadership Program is where we take a full journey into developing purposeful and confident leadership practices. The Conscious Leaders Mastermind offers a community of leaders walking this same path together. And for those wanting a first step, the free webinar series provides practical tools and reflection opportunities you can use right away.
A Reflection for You
Confidence is not a finish line to cross. It is something you cultivate, consciously and consistently, guided by purpose.
What small win from this week can you celebrate as evidence that your confidence is taking shape?
Online Conscious Leadership Program
Lead with intention, inspire with purpose
This program emphasises the importance of self-leadership and responsibility. By understanding your strengths, values, and motivations, you can lead with increased levels of authenticity and integrity.
Recognising that all effective change begins with your own actions and attitudes, this program encourages you to take responsibility for your leadership journey, setting a positive tone for your team.
This program includes:
Six online professional learning modules and pre-recorded training sessions
Six live group coaching sessions
An online community of practice
An online forum to connect with others completing the program
Downloadable worksheets
A leadership program completion certificate
At the end of the six weeks, you'll feel:
Revitalised and confident about your skill set
Confident to have powerful and purposeful conversations
Excited about the future and re-energised about your work
Focused and clear on the changes you want to make at work
Energised and inspired to be an active member of a community of Early Childhood Leaders who make a real difference.
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